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The Gospel According to Jared Swilley

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS (OR DON’T) “We got kicked out of school. For us, it was almost like we wanted to prove them all wrong. We were just like, ‘We have to do this now.’ And our rule was not to have a fall-back plan. I wouldn’t want to give that advice to any kid that gets kicked out of school. I don’t want to say, ‘Don’t follow your dreams,’ but sometimes following your dreams no matter what can be kind of dumb. Continue Reading


Why Wogs Hate Being Called Wogs (Except by Other Wogs)


I’m a wog. And I can say “wog” because I am one.

My father, like many other wogs, came out on a boat from the old country (Italy) in the ’60s. His father (my nonno) was an ex-soldier who fought under Mussolini and took a bullet in the butt for the Nazi cause. His mother (my nonna) is a homemaker who believes that God blew up the Challenger spacecraft because humans were trying to get “higher than Him” and blowing them up was his way of saying, and I quote, “Fuck you.”

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