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Relationships

Relationships

Out of Date

When I was 23, I dated a guy because he had a sweet DVD collection. Like, every cool DVD you could think of, he had it – and more. In the first week of us dating, he had a house party where all his cool friends showed up (one of them had a dreadlock), and he strummed his guitar in the courtyard. I got so drunk I had to puke. Continue Reading

Relationships

Creepy or Cute?

Do you remember that scene in Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams’ character, the sweet, wise psychologist, recalls how he met the love of his life? It’s the typical Hollywood bullshit in many respects: guy sees girl who captures his attention, then he pursues her with relentless obsession, which borders on harassment. Continue Reading

Relationships

Boy Smells

When I’m with a guy, I tend to become addicted to his many smells. Because, of course, a man doesn’t produce just one smell. His hair produces one, his neck produces another, his armpits produce another still … and then there’s a whole symphony of smells that he directs, hopefully, towards the toilet. (Fortunately, I haven’t been with any men who pride themselves on the pungency of their farts, but I do believe they’re out there, somewhere, feasting on buckets of beans right now.) Continue Reading

Relationships

Stolen Moments

I wouldn’t say I’ve “stolen” things from my boyfriends, as much as I have elected not to give certain items back. Which, yes, I know, is the same as stealing, by the letter of the law, but I doubt that the boys and girls in blue are going to nail my arse for holding onto a scratched copy of Leonard Cohen’s Songs of Love and Hate. Especially if I can explain to them why.

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